The baby daddy

The last few posts have been a little fixated on ye olde cam. Today I thought I would write about my baby daddy. I don’t think he needs a name but for the sake of a reference lets call him Fabio because he thinks he is the most beautiful man in the cosmos.

I’ve know Fabio for around ten years. I went out for a Sunday session and my friend bought him along to try and set us up. We were in the beer garden of a pub out the back of bumfuck Idaho and in walks this reasonably attractive picture of arrogance. We talked for a while and then he informed me that he was on ecstasy. I was like wtf?!? It was a Sunday afternoon – hardly the time to be partying on. I figured that was that and wrote him off as a deadshit.

It wasn’t until maybe a year later that I took more notice. By then I’d seen him a few times and was always overwhelmed by both his arrogance and his flirtatiousness. The guy was (and still is) shameless. At our mutual friend’s 21st we shared some kisses but it did not go any further.

A the years went by, we got older, his hair got thinner (ok he went almost completely bald by 25) and we flitted in and out of each other’s lives at parties and other social events. You’d think someone who experienced premature hair loss would find the experience humbling. Not this guy – if anything he became more arrogant. The ladies certainly loved it. I used to heckle him relentlessly about being a ladies man. We had a great relationship where we put shit in each other all the time for the fun of it.

Almost two years ago, cam and I decided we needed space. Ok I decided and he ha no choice but to agree. We moved out of our house we had lived together in. He moved into a share house with his siblings, I moved into a small apartment of my own. This apartment happened to be fairly close to Fabio’s house. One night after quite a few drinks at a show, I found myself talking to Fabio about “catching up sometime” (both of us well aware that he wanted sex). I agreed that it might be fun and told him to text me sometime. A couple of weeks later he did. I believe the text said:

hey want to catch up for some dinner and dessert or maybe each other?

Cheesy as hell.

I left it alone as cam and I were trying to work things through.

After a few more ridiculous texts that made me crack up laughing and a big fight with cam, I found myself agreeing to a few drinks. One thing led to another and we went to bed. I understood the arrogance once his pants were off – that boy is well put together. This may be TMI but his member was the biggest I’ve ever seen!! We had a fun night and I thought I’d leave it at that. A week later we caught up again and so on and so forth.

I was never in love with the guy but I got to know him better and in some ways respect him a little more. We were a short term thing. One of those here for a good time not a long time type engagements. So you can imagine it was one hell of a shock for me to find out I was pregnant.

I remember the night he was conceived. If he ever asks (what kid wants I know this but hey he might one day) I can tell him that it was passionate and I have fond memories. I’m glad it wasn’t seedy.

Fabio was not keen to be involved. A child would certainly cramp his style. I understood an respected that and left him to his own devices. I barely heard from him until I was seven months pregnant. Then he came and told me he did want to be a part of his son’s life but in limited capacity. I told him he was always welcome and I’d help in any way for this to work out.

After my beautiful child was born, Fabio did not cope at all. I suppose that once he saw this baby shit got real. He came to the conclusion that he couldn’t be the father and off we went on the rigmarole of DNA tests so my son could have his Father’s name on his birth certificate. It was a little stressful and my respect for him waned big time but hey – what can you do? You can’t force someone to be a man and face up to their responsibilities. They can only do it when they are ready.

Since the birth of Noah it has been a rollercoaster ride with Fabio. He has a lovely girlfriend who is more engaged and seems more caring about our son than he is. I get along very well with her and am very happy she is a grounding influence in his life. He is still a distant person in our lives and I don’t think he will ever be a fantastic influence in my son’s life but I am thankful that we can all get along and Noah will know where he came from. He can make his own decisions about the quality of his Father’s parenting when he is old enough. Until then it is my job to facilitate their relationship to the best of my ability. I think it helps that there are no confused emotions there. I think it makes it easier to make decisions that are in Noah’s best interests.

I am watching him sitting in front of the tv chatting to Thomas the Tank Engine and I feel so proud to have him in my life. He came about in such a convoluted way but he is mine and I wouldn’t change what happened for the world.

Whenever I am down I just need to spend time with him and the world is a much happier place. He gives me purpose that I could need be bothered to have before 🙂

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~ by abstarini on April 21, 2012.

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